Today I had my six month followup testing, which includes a mammogram and a thyroid ultrasound. As a child six months lasts forever. These days it just flies by. The week of my tests has been a struggle for me the past two years and this time was no different. I become plagued by all the "what ifs". My healthy eating goes right out the window. I tend to just exist during this time.
My goal for six months from now is to approach these tests as I would any other day in my life and without any of the "what ifs". Life is so precious and I don't ever again want to waste a single day dreading what may or may not happen in the future. To rephrase a line from one of my favorite movies, I want to make every day count. I want to enjoy every day. I don't want to spend several days twice a year waiting for the results and holding my breath until they are back. I want to live to my fullest and take things head on and deal with them IF they happen.
I keep getting stalled in my journey and it is becoming very frustrating. I want to move forward much faster than what is happening. Even though "one step forward two steps back" is one of my favorite songs to dance to, it is becoming very frustrating for it to represent my life. I have read SO MANY books on healthy eating, food plans, home and life organization, cleaning and ways to get the most out of your life. Today I was just struck with the thought, it doesn't matter how many books you read. Books can NOT change your life. Only you can change your life. Only I can change MY life. It is time to own that. It is time for me to realize that I am the only one who can make me happy. So now the hard part starts. What DOES make me happy? What is it I want out of this gift of life? That is something I am going to think about and share with you in the very near future. Why don't you take a look at what is going on in your life. Is it making you happy or is there something different that you have dreamed of? Do you need a major shift in thinking or just a little fine tuning in what you are doing now. It is now time to take the first steps to make those dreams a reality.
Let me know how your journey is progressing.....
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Until next time........
Copyright 2012 by Betty Williams
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