Hello again. It has been far too long since my last post. I have had a few struggles since I last posted but I think I am once again turned forward. As I started to write this, I was convinced it was going to be one long "oh poor me" but as I was looking for a quote I wanted to use, I ran across a web site that really gave me the kick in the pants I needed. Let me fill you in on the past few weeks so everything makes a little more sense to you.
Due to my history of breast cancer in 2010, I get a mammogram every six months. I also have some nodules in the right lobe of my thyroid that keep growing so I also have a thyroid ultrasound every 6 months as well. Thankfully my mammogram was fine but the nodules in my thyroid are still growing. I have an appointment to see an endocrinologist in September (earliest they could get me in). Well, when my doctor was going over the results of those tests with me, she saw that my chest CT from 3 or 4 months ago stated it needed following as well. So off to the hospital I go again for a chest CT. I had this done on Friday, July 13th and on Monday I received a call from my oncologist office. The nodules in my lung had grown and they scheduled me for another PET scan, which I had this past Saturday. I have been scared to death that cancer had returned. I saw my oncologist yesterday. He said that there was something there but it is NOT cancer at this time but I will need CT scans every 3 - 4 months to follow it closely.
This should have been amazing news.... It IS amazing news but all I could think was I had one more ticking time bomb hanging over my head. Now I have to go through this fear and anxiety every three months instead of every six months. I did not want to live life this way, putting my life on hold every 3 months to wait and see if I had a future.
I ate my way through the past few weeks of testing and waiting and did not exercise so I am back up with my weight almost to where I started and have to start over with that too. That is a brief summary that brings us back to this morning.
As I was driving to work this morning, I had tears streaming down my face and was about to jump head first into the pity pool. I was all set to have a complete melt down tonight but during my lunch hour as I was searching for a quote on life, I discovered some quotes that I loved and were very uplifting. I searched the internet for the person who had written these and discovered her web site. I spent my lunch hour engrossed and became revitalized. I am ready to REALLY live.
"Every moment you get is a gift. Spend it on things that matter. Don't spend it by dwelling on unhappy things." - Celestine Chua
Everyone has obstacles in their life. I just happen to know when a few of mine are going to happen. I can't let them sideline me anymore. I can't use that as an excuse to put my life on hold and destroy any progress that has been made.
So here I am today with renewed strength and desire to live my life to the fullest and to continue this journey to happiness. I highly recommend that you check out the web site of Celestine Chua
http://personalexcellence.co
And yes, that is the correct web address even though it looks a bit strange.
Let me know what battles you are fighting and how your journey is progressing. We can move forward together.
Until next time........
"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today." - Dale Carnegie
Copyright 2012 by Betty Williams
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