I hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day. I thought I would give you a little update on things here. I didn't count my calories over the weekend but was able to maintain what weight loss I have achieved. From where I started, I am down 19 pounds. I am starting to tell a difference in the way my clothes fit. I have been doing great with the hair and makeup every day. It really does make me feel better about myself.
As for the house.... I take every tiny victory I can in that department. I have managed to keep my dresser cleaned off for almost 2 weeks now. That has always been a place that attracts anything and everything. I am now working on getting the clutter from my bedroom floor. I tend to be very attached to things and am starting to enjoy the liberating feeling of giving away and throwing away unneeded items.
I was thinking today about the changes I have made recently in both me and my home. I was thinking back over all the things in past years that I have tried and failed at in trying to get my home and body into shape. I was trying to figure out why this time is different. Why am I so excited about taking care of me and about letting the clutter from the house go? I think it all boils down to...... What is MY motivation.
In the past, my motivation has been guilt, fear of embarrassment, anger from being called names and having derogatory things said about me and to me by my husband and sometimes just obligation. A few days or a week but about the longest I stuck with anything and I was miserable the whole time. So, what is different this time? This time my motivation is ME! I am doing this for ME! I am doing what I need to make me happy. If that means cleaning off a dresser before washing a sink of dishes, then that is what I do even if I am told it is much more "logical" to do the dishes first. Maybe it would be more logical. But when I look at my dresser now it makes me smile. The top is neat and organized. I have some pretty items displayed from my kids and best friend that I can now enjoy.
When I look at the sink full of dishes, I feel anger, resentment and hurt. For some reason, the person that complains the most about the dishes and house (and who does his fair share of dirtying the dishes and house) is unwilling to do anything to help take care of the problem. There are no small children in our home, only adults and we all have jobs outside the home. To say this is annoying is an understatement. I will get to the dishes and everything else that needs attention, but it will be in my time. It will be when it makes ME smile. This is my journey to happiness and has been a long time coming. If the dishes or anything else bothers anyone in my house that much, they are more than welcome to take care of it. Otherwise, I will get to it when my journey takes me there.
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