Speed Bump

I know it has been a while since I posted and I apologize.  I know if we are taking this journey together, I must share even when things don’t go the way I plan.  I seem to have hit a “speed bump” in my journey that has sidetracked me temporarily.  I hadn’t posted and realized that I was ashamed and embarrassed to have stumbled so quickly.  But I am ready to get back up, dust myself off, tend to my wounds and start moving forward again.

I have gained back 6 lbs by not watching what I was eating and not exercising.  I could give you a long list of excuses that sound good, but I think it just boils down to letting the depression start to creep back in and my willpower and motivation took a huge hit.  I had thought I had a grip on this but have learned it can attack at any time.  The secret is just not letting it take control.

I have had a rough couple of weekends where my self-esteem has been attacked and I started to let the old doubts take hold.  But this time, I realized what was happening.  I did my best to block the messages being sent my way and reminded myself that what someone else thinks and says about me does NOT make it true.  Some people just are not happy themselves and take joy in trying to destroy others. 

I pause to acknowledge the positive changes I have made so far.  Some of them even stuck through my speed bump.  I still fixed my hair and put on makeup.  These are things that would have been the first to go in the past.  I have been slowly working through a to do list and getting things done that I have been putting off for years.  It feels really good to mark these off the list.  It makes me want to do more… to keep marking these things off.

I once again have my road map spread out in front of me.  I am ready to proceed on my journey.  My steps may be a little smaller and my pace a little slower, but I am moving forward. 

I leave you today with the lyrics of a song I heard on my way to work this morning sung by Tim McGraw and previously recorded by Sammy Kershaw, written by:  Ashley Gorley and Bryan Simpson……

Better Than I Used To Be

I know how to hold a grudge
I can send a bridge up in smoke
And I can't count the people I've let down, the hearts I've broke
You ain't gotta dig too deep
If you wanna find some dirt on me
I'm learning who you've been
Ain't who you've got to be
It's gonna be an uphill climb
Aww honey I won't lie

I ain't no angel
I still got a still few more dances with the devil
I’m cleanin up my act, little by little
I’m getting there
I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see
I ain’t as good as I’m gonna get
But I’m better than I used to be

I’ve pinned a lot of demons to the ground
I’ve got a few old habits left
There’s one or two I might need you to help me get
Standin in the rain so long has left me with a little rust
But put some faith in me
And someday you’ll see
There’s a diamond under all this dust

I ain't no angel
I still got a still few more dances with the devil
I’m cleanin up my act, little by little
I’m getting there
I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see
I ain’t as good as I’m gonna get
But I’m better than I used to be

I ain't no angel
I still got a still few more dances with the devil
But I’m cleanin up my act, little by little
I’m getting there
I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see
I ain’t as good as I’m gonna get
But I’m better than I used to be