Here I Am!!!!!!

     "Don't put off living to next week, next month, next year or next decade.  The only time you're ever living is in this moment."       Celestine Chua


Hello again.  It has been far too long since my last post.  I have had a few struggles since I last posted but I think I am once again turned forward.  As I started to write this, I was convinced it was going to be one long "oh poor me" but as I was looking for a quote I wanted to use, I ran across a web site that really gave me the kick in the pants I needed.  Let me fill you in on the past few weeks so everything makes a little more sense to you.

Due to my history of breast cancer in 2010, I get a mammogram every six months.  I also have some nodules in the right lobe of my thyroid that keep growing so I also have a thyroid ultrasound every 6 months as well.  Thankfully my mammogram was fine but the nodules in my thyroid are still growing.  I have an appointment to see an endocrinologist in September (earliest they could get me in).  Well, when my doctor was going over the results of those tests with me, she saw that my chest CT from 3 or 4 months ago stated it needed following as well.  So off to the hospital I go again for a chest CT.  I had this done on Friday, July 13th and on Monday I received a call from my oncologist office.  The nodules in my lung had grown and they scheduled me for another PET scan, which I had this past Saturday.  I have been scared to death that cancer had returned.  I saw my oncologist yesterday.  He said that there was something there but it is NOT cancer at this time but I will need CT scans every 3 - 4 months to follow it closely. 

This should have been amazing news.... It IS amazing news but all I could think was I had one more ticking time bomb hanging over my head.  Now I have to go through this fear and anxiety every three months instead of every six months.  I did not want to live life this way, putting my life on hold every 3 months to wait and see if I had a future.

I ate my way through the past few weeks of testing and waiting and did not exercise so I am back up with my weight almost to where I started and have to start over with that too.  That is a brief summary that brings us back to this morning.

As I was driving to work this morning, I had tears streaming down my face and was about to jump head first into the pity pool.  I was all set to have a complete melt down tonight but during my lunch hour as I was searching for a quote on life, I discovered some quotes that I loved and were very uplifting.  I searched the internet for the person who had written these and discovered her web site.  I spent my lunch hour engrossed and became revitalized.  I am ready to REALLY live.

    "Every moment you get is a gift.  Spend it on things that matter.  Don't spend it by dwelling on unhappy things." - Celestine Chua

Everyone has obstacles in their life.  I just happen to know when a few of mine are going to happen.  I can't let them sideline me anymore.  I can't use that as an excuse to put my life on hold and destroy any progress that has been made.

So here I am today with renewed strength and desire to live my life to the fullest and to continue this journey to happiness.  I highly recommend that you check out the web site of Celestine Chua
http://personalexcellence.co

And yes, that is the correct web address even though it looks a bit strange.

Let me know what battles you are fighting and how your journey is progressing.  We can move forward together.

Until next time........

     "One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.  We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today."  - Dale Carnegie

Copyright 2012 by Betty Williams

One Foot In Front Of The Other

Today I had my six month followup testing, which includes a mammogram and a thyroid ultrasound.  As a child six months lasts forever.  These days it just flies by.  The week of my tests has been a struggle for me the past two years and this time was no different.  I become plagued by all the "what ifs".  My healthy eating goes right out the window.  I tend to just exist during this time. 

 

My goal for six months from now is to approach these tests as I would any other day in my life and without any of the "what ifs".  Life is so precious and I don't ever again want to waste a single day dreading what may or may not happen in the future.  To rephrase a line from one of my favorite movies, I want to make every day count.  I want to enjoy every day.  I don't want to spend several days twice a year waiting for the results and holding my breath until they are back.  I want to live to my fullest and take things head on and deal with them IF they happen. 

 

I keep getting stalled in my journey and it is becoming very frustrating.  I want to move forward much faster than what is happening.  Even though "one step forward two steps back" is one of my favorite songs to dance to, it is becoming very frustrating for it to represent my life.  I have read SO MANY books on healthy eating, food plans, home and life organization, cleaning and ways to get the most out of your life.  Today I was just struck with the thought, it doesn't matter how many books you read.  Books can NOT change your life.  Only you can change your life.  Only I can change MY life.  It is time to own that.  It is time for me to realize that I am the only one who can make me happy. So now the hard part starts.   What DOES make me happy?  What is it I want out of this gift of life?  That is something I am going to think about and share with you in the very near future.  Why don't you take a look at what is going on in your life.  Is it making you happy or is there something different that you have dreamed of?  Do you need a major shift in thinking or just a little fine tuning in what you are doing now.   It is now time to take the first steps to make those dreams a reality. 

 

Let me know how your journey is progressing.....

 

 

You can post comments here on this blog

or

You may email me at: bettysjourneytohappiness@yahoo.com

AND

Be sure to follow on Facebook at: Betty's Journey to Happiness

and on Twitter @bettysjourney

Until next time........

Copyright 2012 by Betty Williams

Not The Biggest Loser? It's OK.... Just Don't Leave The Game

One of my favorite shows on television is The Biggest Loser.  I love watching the total transformation of body and mind.  I find that not only are the contestants very inspiring but the trainers as well.  I have watched from season one and Jillian and Bob are THE trainers.  I follow both of them on Facebook and enjoy all their tips and support.  Yesterday Jillian posted a challenge that I want to accept and pass on to you and ask you to join me.  This is a challenge to last this week.  Yes, I realize there is a holiday right smack in the middle of the week but we can do this. 

Here is our challenge:  At every meal, leave a little bit of food on your plate.  We are developing some willpower here.  Don't think of this as wasteful.  Think of it as an exercise in self control and no fair putting a little extra food on your plate either.  Serve yourself healthy portions and leave a little behind.  Then post here or on my facebook page and let me know how you are doing. 

I have also planned my meals for the week and will be trying very hard to follow that plan.  I have used foods that I have fixed before but plan on starting to incorporate a few new healthy recipes in with next weeks plan.  I will also be more focused on getting in at least some exercise every day.

I will be using both my Facebook page (bettysjourneytohappiness) and my Twitter account (@bettysjourney) to send out more frequent messages and give updates.  If you don't have a Twitter account, they are real easy to set up, just go to http://www.twitter.com/ then be sure to follow me @bettysjourney

So, let's get started.  Let me know what's on YOUR menu tonight and what exercise YOU get in.

Until next time......

Copyright 2012 by Betty Williams

What A Difference A Day Makes

It is still somewhat unreal to me the turn that my life has taken in the past 2 - 3 weeks.  I had come to terms with the fact that I was going to be divorced after 27 years of marriage.  It was a difficult decision but I knew I could not continue down the path I was on.  I am so thankful that I had not closed myself off so completely that I was unable to see the true regret and longing to return to what we once had that Alan was expressing.  Prior to this change, I can't remember two hours passing without some snide or hurtful remark or an argument about something stupid, but I have not heard one hurtful word or had an arguement in over two weeks now.  I know we will still have our disagreements, that is only human.  But hopefully the days of personal attacks directed at one another are gone and will never be a part of who we are again.

I am still reworking my goals.  It is taking longer than I thought but they are also more important to me than they were two weeks ago.  I had dreams two weeks ago..... but NOW....I also have real HOPE that those dreams can and will become reality.

I have three main issues that are at the top of my list right now and will share a bit about those.  The first is my need to lose weight.  I have really slipped over the past 14 days on this one.  Knowing I am loved and cherished AS I AM was/is an amazing feeling.  It was also leading me to complacency.  I had lost that burning desire to make the changes I had begun to work on.  These past couple of days I have realized I must push past the complacent feeling and lose this weight.  I still love the look I see in Alan's eyes when he looks at me now, but I need to be able to look at myself and feel this way as well.  I have also noticed with this increased heat we are experiencing, losing the weight is much more than a cosmetic issue for me.  It is a matter of life or death.  I am NOT handling the heat well at all and haven't since my breast cancer treatments two years ago.  But it is getting worse.  I had to have a liver biopsy performed earlier this year.  Thankfully the only action necessary at this point is to lose weight and allow the liver some time to gradually heal as much as possible.  So, I am going to be putting MAJOR emphasis on this.  I will be sharing meal plans, exercise tips, recipes and many other things in coming months.  I hope you will share some of your recipes, tips and ideas as well.  You can either post those here as comments or on my Facebook page for everyone to benefit from.  Facebook information is at the bottom of this posting.

My second goal for right now is continuing to get my house clean.  After it is clean, we are going to start some remodeling.  I am very excited about this.  This has been something I have wanted to do for years.  Cleaning must come first though.  Our daughter, Brittany, has become a HUGE help in this area.  I need to come up with a plan to keep it clean once we get it that way.  Right now, the living room is clean, the dining room has a very good start and the bathroom is getting close to being done. 

I may have mentionted this before, but I have downloaded an app for my cell phone that is a To Do list.  It actually lets you set up as many lists as you want.  I have a general list that reminds me to put on makeup, take my meds (yes I still struggle with this daily), cleanse/moisturize my face and one time things such as errands to run, things to do, places to go and appointments.  I also have a list for housework.  I am hoping that by setting up daily, weekly and monthly reminders it will help maintain the house once it is clean.  I am also listing one time actions in this list that need to be performed to get it clean.  My third list right now is for remodeling.  For now, this list just has items such as measuring windows, doors and our property so we can put up a fence for our dogs to run loose as well as numberous things to gather information about such as a metal roof, fencing and such as that.  I can't wait to actually begin remodeling.

The last thing I am working on for now is to set aside a certain amount of time daily to write.  I have several short story and fiction contests that I am planning on entering.  I also want to post here to you more often. 

This is such an exciting time for me.  I love the direction my life is now heading.  If you see me out now you will see a genuine smile on a truly happy person.  The good news is, it can always get better.

So please continue to join me on this journey to happiness.  I look forward to hearing from you along the way.

You can post comments here on this blog

or

You may email me at:  bettysjourneytohappiness@yahoo.com

AND

Be sure to follow on Facebook at:  Betty's Journey to Happiness

Until next time........

Copyright 2012 by Betty Williams